[#593] Dear Agony

Leave me alone
God let me go
I’m blue and cold
Black sky will burn
Love pull me down
Hate lift me up
Just turn around
There’s nothing left

Breaking Benjamin, ♫Dear Agony

When the idea for this blog first came into my brain I wasn’t 100% sure how I wanted to go about it or how it would be received; I had to keep in mind that this is predominantly my space and I choose what is posted here. Very little do I like to talk about myself in any capacity even though I’m told that it is a Leo trait to be about yourself.

This site has always been about emotions in every degree you can think of. One day I might post something like I am today and the next post could be funny, light hearted, romantic or even *gasp* sexy. That’s just how this journey called life goes and one cannot exist without the other and that is what I personally believe.

The song I’ve chosen, “Dear Agony” could be construed many different ways. It can be looked at as someone with depression and suicidal thoughts or it could be thought of as someone dealing with an addiction/substance abuse problems and are seeking a means to pull themselves out of their predicament. The way it is personalized for me is that I deal with pain on a consistent basis due to chronic back issues that I have had for over 10 years that have no way of ever being normal. In a sense I feel like I’m slowly drowning sometimes with the knowledge that down the road it will likely reach a point that I don’t want to think about and that is what lead me to setting up the scene as I did.

Somehow I have willed myself to stay off of any mainstream painkillers but some days getting out of bed feels unbearable but I don’t want to be confined to staying in one spot all the time. I’m not in a position where a surgical procedure is required and even if it were a possibility the chance of it making my situation worse is too risky for me to consider.

This song resonates for me because I constantly wish to be in a place where I was before all of this started but I know it isn’t possible. I get through by being creative in a virtual world that I can do whatever I please and the photos I take that turn into these blogs are something that keeps my mind off of everything else. I don’t necessarily like putting stuff like this out in the world because I’m not a martyr, I’m just a person that struggles like everyone else. Perhaps it is something that when someone reads it they think “This person is like me, they understand the kind of thing I’m going through”. This struggle has put me in some dark places but I refuse to let it pull me in completely.

I may not enjoy sharing pieces of my life in detail but I don’t regret it either.

Okay…so I’m done with the heavy stuff now and I can get into the fun part of the blog which is about events, products, and the creation process and not necessarily in that order. I’m not quite sure how I managed to pull off getting this image to be even remotely close to how I saw it in my head but I can say that trying some new things might have helped.

Last year I entertained the thought of giving the Black Dragon viewer a try because many of my peers were doing some really cool things with it. I installed it and for me it was complicated enough that I said to hell with it and let the idea go that it might help my work out. It wasn’t until a few nights ago that I chose to give it another try and the worst that could happen is that I get frustrated and ditch it again. This time around though I watched helpful tutorials and took some of the confusion out of it and modeled my settings after the ones used by one of my favorite pose makers who uses it for their photos.

I’d like to know if you think if it’s made a difference?

I feel very fortunate that Modulus has quite a few releases at various events at the moment because I can keep my hair game on point. The Men’s Department is where the “Troy Hair” can be found and I remember when the product ad first showed up on Facebook, my friend Jason, said that he felt everyone had a stuck up Troy in their lives. I can say that I’ve never had the pleasure or displeasure of knowing anyone named Troy personally. So Jason if the Troy you knew wasn’t on your favorite list you can just look at this photo and take satisfaction to know I drowned him! (That’s a bit much but my humor is odd sometimes).

With the angle of the camera and the way the hair naturally flows it gives the effect of movement in the water as longer hair does when you are swimming. It’s not always easy when going for realism to get something to work without manipulation but I choose not to. Manipulating anything (especially products from a store I blog for) wouldn’t be right but luckily for me with Modulus I don’t have to.

Modulus – Troy Hair

  • 100% original “nex-gen” alpha mesh
  • 5 color tone packs + integrated tinting HUDs to choose from
  • 40 color FATPACK also for sale
  • Exclusive to TMD until 02/27/19

For the outfit, I’m wearing some items that I had in my closet and I’m super certain have blogged in the past. Usually I tend not to go into extensive detail about those. That’s how I feel about items that are at least more than 2 or 3 months old (in this case at least a year). To be honest I give the most coverage to my brands and events that have new things out and also if there’s something that I find outside of that which excites me then I’ll make that a main feature as well.

This photo would not have been possible without the “Serene Pool” skybox from Paparazzi. This highly detailed indoor pool room comes complete with materials and lighting to give it a very realistic look for photography and it looks even better in the Black Dragon viewer with the right settings. There were actually several other ideas I had for this skybox but ultimately the photo that resulted from this shoot was my main idea. There’s nothing saying that I can’t use it again in the future for another blog taken from the vantage point from above the water right?

On that note, I think it’s time for me to wrap this blog post up so I can get it out into the universe as I am super proud of how the picture turned out. It may be the idea of it being the first one I’ve ever done with the Black Dragon viewer but I feel like it has a different feel to it then some of my previous work and time will tell the story of if I stick with this method or go back to what I was done.

Now I’m off to go crank some tunes and put a new look together for a little idea I have for the next blog. For all of you out there that might have experience with any of the feelings this blog might have brought about, we’re all in this together and we just have to do whatever is necessary to live our best lives. Take care until the next one everyone.

Kindest regards,

Brennan


POSE: Nexus (MP) – Hypoxia Pose Set

SKYBOX: Paparazzi (Store / MP) – Serene Pool

HAIR: Modulus (Store / MP) – Troy Hair @ TMDNEW

TANKTOP: Boo’s Designs – Rob Tank Top ~ Ribbed ~
JEANS: INVICTUS – Jeans Strong 17

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[#434] My Real Life

And if you see me physically
It’s only nothing that you’ll see
Until I close my eyes
and you’re in my dreams with me

My Real Life♫ – City Sleeps

Fresh of my second and final turn as “Hipster Santa” (I can’t quit saying that for some reason) for at least 2017, I did the shoot for this blog entry around the same time and held onto it for a few so I had at least one more thing to post before the holidays in case I’m away for a small period of time. This was put together pretty quickly and is probably one of the more simpler photos.

A big shout out goes to my fellow blogger and friend, Anderian Sugarplum for allowing me to shoot in a build she put together for one of her works (as I’d liked it very much). There were plenty of photos taken and maybe some of those outtakes will end up on my Flickr at some point so for those of you who have been there or look at it now and again, keep your eyes peeled.


I kept the outfit for this as simple as possible as it fits the theme that I was going for. I also brought back some of the items I had on in my previous look for “Hipster Santa” (Sorry I can’t help myself) but am showing them off in different colors. I wanted to show you one of the colors for the David hair from Modulus using one of the colors from the Vibrants pack.

Also returning is the tank top from Boo’s Designs. I thought it worked well to pair with the pair of pj’s that I’m wearing which makes for a nice lounging combination outside of blogging or photography work.


MESANGE has also been kind to allow me to review the second of two releases from We Love RP. These eyes just simply pop and I wanted to make sure I did my best to frelect that as well in the closer photos that I took but I don’t even think that I could do them enough justice. You’ll just have to go take a look at them for yourselves and see what I’m talking about!

The pj’s I am wearing are from a brand that I’ve seen through various ads and messages. Until now, I have not been familiar with Daddy’s Choice Designs other than in name only but after following an ad for the Valentino pajama pants I was pleased with the fit and look of them and made a great choice for this overall look and feel.

Also as a side note there are no actual poses used in this blog entry as the bed itself had the pose used for the entire scene (as it was shot in several angles).


I‘m sure a lot of you are getting your last minute gifts together and I hope that at least one of my blog entries has helped you to make informed choices on items that you might want to get for those you care about or even maybe a little something for yourself because you deserve it too! I’m going to leave you with the rest of the pertinent info regarding this entry and again wish you all a happy holiday and will see you again very soon!

Onto the next conversation…

HAIR⊱ Modulus – David Hair – FATPACK @ Man CaveNEW

It doesn’t happen often with the amount of hair that comes my way but I wanted to show this hair with a different but of flavor, which came from the “Vibrants” pack in the form of the darker purple color. I did not use the included tint color part of the HUD to change it in any way so you’re getting as close to the actual color as you would right out of the box.

HEADLeLutka – Andrea v 3.1

EYES⊱ MESANGE – Argos Eyes – BEAUTY PACK @ We Love RPNEW

15 more eye colors await you with the second MESANGE release for We Love RP. These eyes are compatible with Omega compatible eyes as well as come with mesh eyeballs and system eyes for those who kick it old school.

FACEStray Dog – Cody T2

BODYBelleza – Jake

TANKTOP⊱ *BD* ROB TANK TOP ~ RIBBED V3 ♯ Marketplace

PAJAMASDCD – Valentino Pajama Pants

With 10 different prints to choose from ranging from cocktails to donuts how could you say no to these? You’ll lounge around in style wearing these bad boys and can choose what you feel like wearing on any particular given day. For a brand that I was not very familiar with until I decided to give them a try, I find myself quite happy with my purchase.

Compatible With: Adam, Aesthetic, Belleza, Classic, Signature, SLink and TMP male bodies.

BEDAitui – Messy Bedroom – Bed RARE

This item comes from a long ago round of The Arcade and as it states it is a RARE item complete with the pose you see in the photos. It’s a really cool bed for those of you who are into nerdy type decor; it will fit perfectly in your spaces in that regard.

[#433] Here Comes Santa Claus

Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane

Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)♫ – Elvis Presley

Back by popular (or unpopular as it’s yet to be determined) demand is Hipster Santa, ready to deliver gifts to all the nerds and cool kids out there. With there being a second pose for men in the Naughty List series by Image Essentials, I had one more opportunity to totally nail the look for “bad” Santa and I think I totally got it. I decided to not to show more skin than I did the last time to kind of differentiate between the two looks.


With the Christmas holiday coming up this is likely my second and final holiday post of 2017. I usually only do a small handful as I have in the past I don’t want to saturate it too much as personally I’m not overly celebratory. For me personally it is a small doses type deal as I generally even try to avoid listening to holiday music up until the last week and a half if I can manage it but with many retail places in the world starting theirs right after Halloween it’s difficult to avoid. On the brighter side though I do have more reasons to be cheerful in 2017.


A big thanks to Image Essentials, Modulus and MESANGE (brand partners) for their contributions in making this blog entry what it is. As I was taking the photos, I had a feeling that it was going to turn out better than I initially expected because frankly I did not feel the last post I did as “Hipster Santa” turned out the way I wanted it to. I think it was due to the fact that I could have done a better job with decorating the scene for it as it lacked something but I couldn’t place my finger on it.

It also helps that this time I found a backdrop that was simplistic but didn’t feel as if it needed anything extra and it is something I picked up at the previous round of Cosmopolitan. On a side note I’m going to say that Paparazzi has been on a roll lately with their backdrops; I have been finding things that should be showing up in future blog entries so keep a watchful eye out on those.


This look has been a little fun to work with (can’t deny that) and I’ve gotten a few comments about it from colleagues and friends. That’s one of the things that this site is about is creating conversations and expanding on some of them (both the good and the bad). While this is not my last entry before the holidays I want to take the time while I’m in that mood to wish everyone a happy holiday and wish seasons greetings to all. Be sure to take a look at the credits and maybe take a quick stroll through some of the shopping events and stores for some last minute gift ideas for the fellas in your life (family, friends, significant others etc.)

Onto the next conversation…

HAIR⊱ Modulus – David Hair – FATPACK @ Man CaveNEW

The Alpha Hair line from Modulus is taking the grid by storm and at Man Cave they’ve released another new hair called “David”. This is a much shorter side combed hair that works perfectly with the “Charlie” hairbase also from Modulus. As you can see from the photos above I have shown you both the left and right angles of the hair so that you can get an idea of what it might look like before you give it a test drive yourself. 5 different color packs with 5 colors in each pack as is normal with Modulus releases and the color HUDs also have a color tint option as well to give you even more customization; is also available in FATPACK form.

HEADLeLutka – Andrea v 3.1

EYESMESANGE – Astraea Eyes – WOH GiftNEW

When it comes to poses and of course eyes, it is easier to go with an “out of the box” mentality. If something is labeled for females that doesn’t mean it won’t necessarily work for the fellas as well. I’m wearing the Hunt gift from MESANGE that you can get the hint for right HERE. While you are there take a look at some of the brands other great eye options! This gift has a HUD that includes 5 different color choices for you to use. Why not try it out as it is a gift and you won’t be out of anything if they are not for you but I have a strong feeling they’ll be just the thing for your next photo shoot.

FACETableau Vivant – Kole Tone 3

This is not a new item but since it is something I have not blogged or have not blogged much I’ll just say a little bit about it. The HUD comes with several different brow color choices (along with a no brows option) as well as several different makeup choices (guyliner and warpaint respectively). An eyebrow shaper is also included in the package as well.

MOUSTACHEKauna – Bento Moustache English [v1.2]

BEARDKauna – Bento Beard Shape Beard Shape A [v1.2]

BODYBelleza – Jake

TANKTOP⊱ *BD* ROB TANK TOP ~ RIBBED V3 ♯ Marketplace

I’ve had this tank saved in my marketplace favorites for quite some time just waiting for the right opportunity to use it and now was the time. I have wanted a fairly well put together ribbed tank (I refuse to refer to it by it’s street slang name). I figure that in his downtime “Hipster Santa” would be wearing one while chilling in his workshop getting his sleigh ready for his big journey. The included HUD allows you to choose from 12 different color tanks so you could wear a different one each day of the week if you chose as well as two different wear choices (tucked and untucked).

Compatible With: Adam, Aesthetic, Belleza, Classic (XS-XL), Signature, SLink and TMP male bodies.

PANTS⊱ [SM]art – Kringle Pants @ Man CaveNEW

Nothing is more Santa than these Kringle pants from [SM]art and you can get them at Man Cave right now. Inspired by the wardrobe of the man himself, you don’t just get the traditional red/white combination in fact you can do make your own out of 10 different colors with the included HUD. There is an option to color the various parts of the pants (there’s even a tucked candy cane in the waist that you can have on or off). These are pretty cool pants but unfortunately they only have a limited time run as to when you wear them without being really weird so run out and grab them before it’s too late!

Compatible With: Aesthetic, Belleza and Signature male bodies.

BOOTS[ VERSOV ] MOLOTOV BOOTS – FULL BLACK

BACKDROPPaparazzi – BACKDROP – Festive Fun – Green

As I had previously stated in the first part of this blog, Paparazzi has been releasing some really cool backdrops for photographers and bloggers. This was from the previous round of Cosmopolitan so if you are looking to make a last minute Christmas Card using this then head over to their main location and get cracking because there’s little time left before the holiday is right on your doorstep. The backdrop has really cool ornaments hanging and make it just the right touch to create an excellent image.

IE – Naughty List 5 (b) @ The Naughty ListNEW

For some reason I have my doubts that Santa (at least the Hipster version) is as pure as we all think he is and this just proves it. The guy looks like he has something to hide and rightfully so because he’s been NAUGHTY *gasp*. This great pose comes with the Santa Hat and bag full of presents that you see in the photos all well crafted to make your photos stand out. This item is available at The Naughty List event until the end of December so it’s worth making a trip to see if you can’t find some gifts of your own.